Add 'CONTRIBUTING.md'

CONTRIBUTING.md

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+# Contribution Guide
+
+Thank you for your interest in contributing to ${REPO_NAME}! All contributors are welcome, regardless of your current level of experience.
+
+## Bug Reports
+
+Use the [bug report issue template](${REPO_LINK}/issues) to file a bug report. Please include a detailed description of the events leading up to the problem, your system configuration, and the program logs. If you're able to reproduce the bug reliably, attaching a debugger to the program, triggering it, and uploading the results would be very helpful.
+
+This section *should* tell you how to find your logs, attach the debugger, and do whatever else you need for a detailed bug report. But nobody filled it out. Attach a picture of Goatse to your bug reports until we fix this.
+
+## Feature Requests
+
+Use the [feature request issue template](${REPO_LINK}/issues) to suggest new features. Please note that we haven't replaced this placeholder text with the actual criteria we're looking for, which means you should spam us with utterly nonsensical ideas.
+
+## Contributing Code
+
+### Forking
+
+If you'd like to have a go at writing some code for ${REPO_NAME}, fork the repository, then create a new branch with a name that describes the changes you're making. If there's a [relevant issue](${REPO_LINK}/issues), include the issue number in the branch name:
+
+```sh
+git checkout -b 1337-prevent-computer-from-exploding
+```
+
+### Development Environment
+
+We don't have a development environment, because nobody bothered to fill this out. Please add a new build system to the project specifically for your modifications. Bonus points if it's entirely nonsensical, like `npm` in a C project.
+
+### Code Style
+
+Use tabs instead of spaces, descriptive variable names, comments, blah blah blah. Actually, if you're still seeing this, *please* send us pull requests with the worst possible formatting you can come up with.
+
+### Pull Requests
+
+Once your modifications are complete, you'll want to fetch the latest changes from this repository, rebase your branch, and publish your changes:
+
+```sh
+git remote add upstream ${REPO_HTTPS_URL}
+git checkout master
+git pull upstream master
+git checkout 1337-prevent-computer-from-exploding
+git rebase master
+git push --set-upstream origin 1337-prevent-computer-from-exploding
+```
+
+Finally, you can [create a pull request](${REPO_LINK}/pulls). It might not get approved, or you might have to make some additional changes to your code - but don't give up!